haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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