I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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