pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
