I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
