All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
