I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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