Slut skills are useful in every country.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
