Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Panties = found
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