guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
