I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
So much rum. So many feels.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
