No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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