Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
