you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
