I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
