oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
