i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
