i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
jump out the window naked night went bad
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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