He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
