my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
