I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
