I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
