Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Randomize
