just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
