Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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