I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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