That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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