Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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