evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
