Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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