You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
