I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
