I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
