Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Its about making memories worth repressing
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
