i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
