just tell him i said nine months
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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