She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
