Duck Duck Cougar?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
