You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
