Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
