apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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