My first STD was from a foam party
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
