my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
