peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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