Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
