Jerry, you need to find god
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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