I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
