doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
