just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
