hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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