What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
