the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
