I don't usually arrange sex via text message
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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