she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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