doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize