I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
