Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
When are your genitals available?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
