So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
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