Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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