Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
